Lectori
Salutem

How did you end up here?

Did Google or some AI search send you here? Did you ask about learning how to protect yourself? Were you ‘thinking’ about getting back into shape? Are you searching for an activity that will fit into your schedule?

We ask you this: Are you a ‘NO SHOW’ when it comes to working out?

Save yourself (and UHMA) the trouble and just quit here. Do not read any further, just stop, get back onto your social media app and scroll away. There is an influencer out there waiting to peddle his or her stuff to you. Good luck with that and enjoy the dopamine hit!

What
we are not

We do not do social media. We have nothing to like or for you to showcase. UHMA has no timeline. We expect a commitment from you to show up. Are you certain that you want to experience what we have to offer?

Re-read ‘How did you end up here?’, get disillusioned and just give up. We do not need no shows.

Still
here?

Welcome to our website. Perhaps your search has brought you here looking to become an awesome human specimen. Maybe you need somebody to motivate you sorry ass every Tuesday and drill you into shape. Our group will challenge you physically and mentally. All you have to do is show up. If you don’t like UHMA you can always quit.

Our
Territory

UHMA will get you out of your comfort zone. You will do more than you ever thought you could. We get really uncomfortable. UHMA prefers that which is raw, difficult and direct. Our main philosophy is ‘step up and do your fucking pushups’ (or whatever physical hardship we shovel out). We will provide you with the means to become more than what you currently are. Otherwise just stay away.

Your
Choice

You have to decide what your next move is. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to put in the effort to become more than what you already are. The other choice is to quit on yourself and scroll your life away watching useless shit. If you choose the latter, well that is fine and we thank you for your time and for not wasting ours.

Our
Path

UHMA continually examines the "how and why techniques work". We scrutinize and test them to see how they perform. We believe that less is more (unless it concerns pushups) and repetition gives you something to revert to. You never rise to the occasion; you fall back to your level of training. Watching videos, hoping you will be a bad ass is bullshit.

Self
Control

dis·ci·pline - training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties and moral character

UHMA is heavy on discipline and for us discipline is not punishment. Discipline is the primary ingredient you need for greatness. This means that you consistently show up and are turned 'on’. We will provide you with way too many exercises, make you sweat and feel like a truck ran over you the next day.

Being
Martial

You have a desire to be like Conan the Barbarian? You like pretending you are a badass Spec Ops dude? Get a life. Let’s start with the basics of you showing up, doing your fucking pushups and then, after you show some commitment, we will look at teaching you techniques and strategies that can save your life.

By the way. There is nothing cool about violence (or war for that matter). Warriors are aware of the cost of their trade. UHMA makes you mindful of the ramifications of physical force to injure, abuse, damage, or destroy another human being. It is called incarceration (jail for those lacking in vocabulary).

We will rebuild your body from the ground up. If you are weak and without stamina, your life will suck for a while. We use sandbags, medicine balls, kettlebells, rope climbing and body weight exercises to make you feel miserable. We believe in an 'intense relentless grind' of a workout.

Protection
of Self

This is the free advice section. Pay attention.

Who are you and what are your ‘buttons’ that can be pushed? By knowing how not to be an asshole you can stop acting like a dickhead. Prevention is the best cure. It starts by being a nice and considerate person.

By paying attention to your surroundings (keeping your eyes and ears on the environment and not on your smartphone) you learn to spot potential trouble. It also makes you an unattractive target for those plotting to do you harm. Stay Left of Bang.

How about vacating the area? If you are not there, how are you going to get hurt or killed? Try de-escalating the situation before it develops into a monkey dance. An heartfelt apology for ‘your own bad’ will defuse most situations. It has a calming effect on non-predators.

Is violence on your part required? It must be natural, easy to learn and execute: it has to cause damage to the person receiving it. YOU make THEM non-functional so that THEY are no longer a threat to you. The application of violence has its costs - both legal and moral.

Strengthening
of Character

If you are still reading, you might actually be interested in what UHMA has to offer. We help you test your physical and mental limits. The only cost is some sweat and getting your skin in the game. You are welcome to join us.

DISCLAIMER

If you feel uncomfortable participating in physical training situations (punching, tackling, wrestling, being touched by others, etc.) UHMA is NOT for you. Consider other training options somewhere else. Waste somebody else’s time, please.

We give ZERO FUCKS about your views on sex, race, creed, religious beliefs or orientation. You will train safely, follow all instructions given by the trainer, attend to the needs of your training partner and practice in a conscientious manner. If you cannot do the above STAY HOME. We do not want you.